Spring approaches...

At a snails pace. We keep getting glimpses of spring, a warm day, the robin's have returned. And we are expected to get 3-6 inches on Saturday.

ARGGGGG.

After we signed the kids up for the local Catholic elementary school, we got a notice that enrollment was low and they looked at the budget, these are the changes, are you still committed type of thing.

We struggled a bit with the decision, because we'd be spending a shit-ton-o-money, sending 2 off the bat. And part of the changes was a 10% tuition increase and they'd be cutting programs. Sounding frighteningly like public school....

But after much decision and a last minute pro/con list (because I'm a dork), we decided to stick with it. The kids loved it there and I was very impressed with the kindergarten teacher.

I get yesterday's mail and they are closing the school because only 62 students (37 families) had committed and they could not keep the school open with that level. Great, just great.

Where I struggle, is I want Little Man in a 5-day-a-week program next year. I want him to start getting used to it, so full-day school won't be such a shock to him the following year. Apparently, few schools in Waukesha County offer 4K, much less 5-day-a-week 4K.

The public schools don't even offer 4K. So we looked at the school in New Berlin, because the hope is to maybe buy a house in New Berlin next year (yeah, I know.....returning to NB...what are we thinking??? I'm going to lose any coolness I once possessed).

Well, they only offer 4K 3 days week. OK, I decided I could deal with that. But here's the kicker. School would start for Baby Girl at 7:45 AM for 5K. Little Man's 4K doesn't start until 8:30 AM. Are you kidding me??? 45 minutes later? That would not work and is a complete waste of gas.

Our only other viable options are sending Baby Girl to the local public school for this year and then sending Little Man to her preschool, but I'm not sure they have space (I have to ask, there are signs all over by the office indicated many classes are already full for the fall *sigh*).

Or there is another Catholic school in Wauwatosa, not *too* far from Gumby's work. I love their website, it had just a ton of information and it seems to be an extremely active school. I'd like to check them out, but Gumby is hesitant. So we're going to drive there this weekend and see how much farther is it from his work.

But all in all, this is really freakin' annoying. Stupid economy.

My MIL's surgery went well. She's very sore, but that is to be expected. There was no cancer in the nodes, so that's good news.

The plans for Disney continue.

Trying to move forward with Patrick's estate, but there are so many stumbling blocks right now. We still don't have a police report, which is pissing me off. I have a call and email into the probate attorney to get advice on how to proceed.

Time Warner can bite my frickin' arse. If they send one more bill for him, I swear, I will rip into some poor, unsuspecting soul that answers the phone. Idiots.

All in all, I'm pretty freakin' cranky right now. And the people that own the Chinese restaurant by the hospital must think I'm insane. The past 2 nights I've gone in and gotten nothing but egg drop soup for my MIL and FIL. But I'm sure these people are like, "Egg drop soup, that's it? Really?".

heh.

I feel like all I do is complain

Because, really, I do have an outstanding life, husband, children, family, etc. But man, can I catch a break?

Last Friday I was happily shopping at Sendiks with the kids, because I'm always in my happy place there. Then the phone rings. It's my MIL. Sweet, I can ask what groceries they need as my FIL had gotten pneumonia and the general plague (hopefully not from me, but what are ya gonna do?).

She explains my FIL now has a sinus infection on top of the pneumonia. And there was one itsy-bitsy problem.

She was having chest pain and needed to go to the hospital and my FIL couldn't take her because he'd infect and kill half the population. Great. Just frakin' great.

Off I go to drop the kids off at my folks and to take her to the hospital. I had to call into work (I'd picked up an extra shift since I missed so much after Pat's death).

Around 7:15 PM Gumby calls and says Little Man has an ear infection and is crying. Gives him ibuprofen. I call back 30 minutes later and am told, "He's still cranky, but he'll make it through the night."

Right. And I guess you'll be getting up with him in the middle of the night?

OK, that was bitchy, after all, last time Little Man woke up with the growing pains, Gumby handled it like a champ. But he was still awake. Once he's asleep, all bets are off.

I leave the MIL at the hospital (she was admitted to have a heart cath the next day) and off I go to get Little Man to take him to Urgent Care.

Get him there and he WILL. NOT. STOP. CRYING. My tough little guy that will fall down a flight of steps, get up and say, "I'm ok Mumma.", then run off, could not stop crying.

He finally falls asleep sitting up with me rubbing his head. They take one look in the ear he complained about and went, "Ew." Checked the other ear and it too was infected. Poor thing had a double ear infection. Lovely.

Saturday was good, spent most of the day at the hospital. Went out to dinner with Gumby that night and then the comedy club, which, I will say the comedians were OK, but it was nice to get out.

Sunday I worked, all was well.

Monday was the start of spring break. WOOOOO. I can sleep in! Til 7:30. *sigh*

Monday was my mistake. I ate something. I had a total Homer Simpson moment and ate something I should NOT have eaten. If you've never seen, "Selma's Choice" from the 4th season of the Simpson's, you've missed out on probably one of the funniest episodes ever that I decided to re-enact.

Sooooooooooo. I've been down and out since. Last night, I finally ate food, a sub from Cousins, which sat well and didn't hurt me. Score!

Today, I had my abdominal ultrasound. Turns out I have a rock band in my gallbladder and it must now die be removed. So yeah for not only having surgery, but hitting our deductible in the first quarter of the year! Wooo-hooo!

Now on to other topics to bitch about.

You know, nothing irritates me more than pseudo-rich people bitching about stuff they really have no right to bitch about. We send Emma to a Christian-preschool. It's not cheap, but it's not as bad as some places, so I don't complain. She's learned a lot there.

And I admit, we're probably one of the less affluential parents that use the school. Whatever. We chose to spend our money on education.

But I listen to these Mom's pick up their kids everyday and all they do is bitch about the school and how they don't like the lunch rules (because is it really so bad to have to pack something from the 4 food groups everyday?). As I was leaving yesterday, still feeling like shit, one of the Mom's looked at me and barked, "I am so fed up with this, I HAVE to find a new school for them."

Because, you know, uprooting them in April is the thing to do to a 3 and 4 year old. And then they stood in the hallway bitching this afternoon.

I'm sorry. Get over it. It's PRESCHOOL people. I've had very few complaints over the past 2 years that Em's been there. Like, you know, maybe 2? One major, one not so major. But good gravy.

But I see the same thing working at the Walgreens. I'm no dummy, I made a salary near equal to my husbands when I worked full-time, but we made this decision so I could go to school. Yet these people with "money" like to come in and try to intimidate me, thinking I must be a moron working a Walgreens. (a moron they trust with their life as I fill their prescriptions...bwuhahahahahaha).

No, I'm no moron. I found a part time job that paid a decent amount, that is flexible around my school schedule and my family life. Sounds like a win-win situation to me!

I just don't understand people.

Pneumonia can bite me

OK. I'm really over this. I'm presuming between the stress of Pat's death, the eulogy, etc and then 8-million sick people hugging me at the funeral, I got the plague.

My little sister celebrated her 18th birthday Tuesday. We went to dinner with my folks, sisters, boyfriends, etc. I wanted to die half-way through dinner.

Went back to my folks, sister opened gifts, cake/ice cream time. And I just wanted to be swallowed by the leather couch and spat out in a parallel universe.

We leave and have my father-in-law meet us at home (interestingly enough, Gumby was concerned enough that he called his Dad before we even left to have him leave for our house. See, he does take care of me!).

I was hoping to go to Urgent Care (less expensive), but WTF? All the UC's closed at 9 PM. I swear, the one downtown was open until 10 PM all summer. So after we couldn't find an UC, I decided the ER would have to suffice. Didn't want to drive downtown to go to my usual hospital, so went to the local one.

I must say, I need to pull my head out of my ass and just pick a doctor out here in the 'burbs. Driving downtown when you're already sick sucks. It's time.

Anyway. After several hours in the ER, I have pneumonia and they suspect I have a full-blown case of influenza. They do a test for it (which involves them shoving a q-tip up your nose until it touches your brain. It was so nasty and disturbing. I'd almost rather be in labor).

The rapid test came back negative for it, but it's a 50/50 shot on accuracy (really? how much did we just pay for a fucking 50/50 accuracy????). So they opt to send it for the long-term test and gave me a prescription for Tamiflu and an antibiotic for the pneumonia.

Off to Walgreens at 2 AM. Seventy-freakin-dollars for the Tamiflu. Holy hell. $10 for the antibiotic. Good gravy people.

But I feel better. I spent 2 days on my couch, drinking gatorade and taking drugs and they worked!

I'm still not 100%, but I was able to go to the hockey game last night with the family (which was quite violent, great game!).

Today, I've grocery shopped and got a new scratching post for Oscar.

But really, I'm sick of being sick now.

Today is a bad day

I obviously have not posted since Patty's death. So much has happened since then. Sadness. Happiness. Illness.

We still don't have many details from the accident. There are rumors abound stating the person that hit Patrick was a "drunk Marine". We have absolutely no confirmation of that and have no desire to perpetuate that rumor. If this person was stone-sober, imagine the hell he is living with, knowing his mistake took another life.

But that is exactly what I'm am struggling with as I sit on the couch this evening.

Some say Pat would want us to forgive the person that hit him. But at this moment in time, I feel nothing but complete sadness and bitterness. I don't want to forgive, in fact, I want to inflict great pain on this person. And it doesn't have to be physical pain, oh no, mental pain would be equally satisfying.

I want to show this person pictures of our family. Of our parents, who got a box from the coroner's office yesterday with Pat's belongings, that just sent them into another tailspin of grief.

Of his brother's that are now missing 1/3 of their brotherhood.

Of my children, that are now missing their uncle. For my son, that is now missing his Godfather.

Of me, missing my baby brother that I have protected for so many years.

Tonight I am grieving Patrick all over again, I'm not sure why.

The funeral went as well as could be expected. So many friends came to remember him, to honor him. It was amazing.

I held myself together during my eulogy until the very end when I read my father-in-laws letter to Patrick (damn it! mental note! always pre-read your speech!).

And I lost it during the military honors. I feel the need to clarify. I worry someone may have hear me say I hate military honors.

It is not because I don't feel they should be honored, blah, blah, blah. Quite the contrary. Military honors make the passing that more difficult for me, to know they selflessly served our country. I just sob every time.

Do you know how much I hate to cry in public? Especially sob?!? Because if I'm in public, then I have to do it quietly. And that shit hurts. I much prefer to breakdown in the comfort of my own home, thankyouverymuch.

I loved seeing so many of Pat's friends, I had so many conversations, my head was spinning.

But back to the issue at hand tonight. Tonight, I cannot forgive the driver.

God have mercy on him if he was drunk when it happened, because I certainly will not. Tonight, I hate him, like no one else before, and hopefully no one ever after.