Monday, July 20, 2009

Camping and other adventures

We've been back a few weeks after a week of camping just outside of Minocqua, WI at Crystal Lake. Which means last week was very cold and wet. Because we don't have any other type of vacation, heh.

The lake was beautiful and we were able to go swimming one day. The water was so freakin' cold, but I finally convinced Gumby to go in with me. We had quite a good time splashing about with the kids.

we grilled twice, but then the rain got the best of us, so we ate out to save my sanity and to keep us from all freezing to death.

We spent an afternoon at the Wildlife Park and were able to feed the bears "bear juice" (which, always makes me think of "Jesus Juice" that Michael Jackson called wine).

Not much has gone on since. The kids had another session of swim class. This time Little Man was in the Preschool level and Baby Girl was in Level 1 again. At the end of it Little Man advanced to Level 1 and Baby Girl will be repeating Level 1. Urg.

All the confidence she had last summer in the pool is gone. Poof. No idea why, just gone. I blame it on her being a girl, quite honestly. We are fickle beasts.

Little Man, meanwhile, seems to have found her confidence and has been a little fish (an inattentive fish, but a fish, none-the-less).

Tomorrow is the first day of State Fair. We are headed out with my MIL and her BFF. Gumby is working, saving vacation days for Disney. The FIL has decided not to hang out with a bunch of hens (I said Little Man counted as a man, you know, with his penis and all, but FIL could not be swayed to hang out with 3 women and a 4 year old boy).

But I do love the fair, so it's quite exciting for me and the kids.

Afterwards we head up to my folks for my Dad's birthday weekend. Nothing much planned, I think we'll just hang out and take it easy, but I'm sure some trouble will find us, it always does.

School starts in a few weeks for the kids. I'm beside myself. I cannot believe both of my kids are starting school. Little Man will only be in half-day 4K, so that will ease it for me, but Baby Girl goes full-day 5K. We got a packet from Little Man's teacher today with the school supply list, a list of questions, etc. Oy.

We also near the next criminal trial date for the man that killed Patrick. I've been struggling, I find as we approach each court date, I am more prone to cry when I'm alone in the car or to just be generally pissed off. I just cannot fathom how any of this is fair/just/whatever the fuck you want to call it.

And don't tell me life isn't fair, because I will shove your words up your ass. Trust me on this.

It's amazing to me how the smallest thing can be a kick to the stomach. Tonight as I cleaned out the diaper bag (or now kid backpack as neither are in diapers) I came across the shells from the 21 gun salute at Pat's funeral. I was OK with that. Strangely, because during the actually 21 gun salute, I sobbed like a baby.

But I found a key at the bottom of the bag and thought, "Oh, its the blank key we bought for my old Maxima to have spare."

And then I looked at it. And it's a Kawasaki key. Patrick's motorcycle key.

For a moment, all the air was sucked out of my lungs and I couldn't speak. And it was all I could do to not break down in front of Gumby (because the man suffers enough from me randomly crying over the past 6 months).

I asked if it was Pat's and Gumby looked at it and said, "Huh. Yeah, I guess so."

I quietly pocketed the key. It will go on my keyring. I'm not going all Queen Latifa and wearing it, but it will be close to me.

Said it before and I'll say it again. This being a grown-up shit sucks.

Thursday, July 9, 2009


Yesterday while driving the kids over to the in-laws so I could meet friends downtown for some adult beverages and a bite to eat I was asked by Little Man if we have Oxyclean.


Err, yeah. Why?

Because it can get the stains out Mumma. And my shirt has banana stains. Can you get them out?


Well, I can try to get it out with the Oxyclean, it works well, but sometimes it can't get everything out.

To which Baby Girl jumps in.

But Mom, they showed it getting all the stains out. It's a miracle!

Now I'm mildly twitching, wondering just how the hell my children know about Oxyclean.

Um, how do you know about Oxyclean?

TV Mumma! It was on the commercial! to talk to your father about letting you watch TV with commercials. this is why I only let them watch PBS peoples.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Ode to the Furries

This past weekend, my MIL and I spent in Pittsburgh. We went to the convention that Patrick went to for many years, volunteering as an EMT. This was his "thang". He loved it and loved many of the people there. One of the many reasons he had 8 million friends.

Anyway, they were having a memorial service for Patrick and wanted family to be there. I went in my FIL's place for many reasons, but the most important being this is really fucking hard for him.

Good gravy, let me start by saying how pretty Pittsburgh is when you approach the city from the airport. You pop out of a tunnel through a mountain and suddenly downtown is in front of you. We had a good time catching up with many of his friends that we knew and met many more that had been unable to attend the funeral.

It was amazing to hear from so many people and the impact Patty had on their lives, a few he had even saved.

The memorial was very nice and moving. There was a flag ceremony with bagpipes (always a sucker for men in uniform). It was so hard for his friends, for this final goodbye.

What killed me was the final call for him on the radio. I guess it's tradition for those that are EMT's, Fire, Police, etc. But holy shit, I cried. I was not expecting it and it was just

Which has left me in a funk. Today was the arraignment of the man that killed Pat. His lawyer called for an independent analysis of the blood alcohol, delaying it even longer. I would hope it would just end. Finish it. But, of course, his lawyer must search every nook and crany to find a way to get him less time. *sigh*

I'm tired of thinking about it, tired of crying. Tired of my anger. I want to be done missing Pat and to have him home. Tired of my 4 year old son telling me he misses his uncle and asking why he had to die. Irrational? Of course, but a girl can dream.

Alas, we are going camping this weekend. First *big* camping trip with the kids. We'll be gone for a week. Which is exciting and scary at all once. The FIL is going to try to fix the furnace on the camper this week before we go in the event it too cold in the night once we're up there. I need to take inventory of what's in the camper for gear and see what I need to hunt down. I thought everything was in there, but I couln't find the pie irons/s'more sticks on our last trip (though, I didn't check under one of the couches).

All in all, it's pretty exciting. The kids are excited to go. I'm slightly bummed because cherries will be ready for picking this weekend, so I probably will not get to make cherry preserves/pie filling this year. That is a complete bummer!

Going to see a bunch of friends tonight, I'm excited. Hoping to find someone to watch the kids so John can come as well since this was originally scheduled for Friday (which I had covered!).