Monday, July 20, 2009

Camping and other adventures

We've been back a few weeks after a week of camping just outside of Minocqua, WI at Crystal Lake. Which means last week was very cold and wet. Because we don't have any other type of vacation, heh.

The lake was beautiful and we were able to go swimming one day. The water was so freakin' cold, but I finally convinced Gumby to go in with me. We had quite a good time splashing about with the kids.

we grilled twice, but then the rain got the best of us, so we ate out to save my sanity and to keep us from all freezing to death.

We spent an afternoon at the Wildlife Park and were able to feed the bears "bear juice" (which, always makes me think of "Jesus Juice" that Michael Jackson called wine).

Not much has gone on since. The kids had another session of swim class. This time Little Man was in the Preschool level and Baby Girl was in Level 1 again. At the end of it Little Man advanced to Level 1 and Baby Girl will be repeating Level 1. Urg.

All the confidence she had last summer in the pool is gone. Poof. No idea why, just gone. I blame it on her being a girl, quite honestly. We are fickle beasts.

Little Man, meanwhile, seems to have found her confidence and has been a little fish (an inattentive fish, but a fish, none-the-less).

Tomorrow is the first day of State Fair. We are headed out with my MIL and her BFF. Gumby is working, saving vacation days for Disney. The FIL has decided not to hang out with a bunch of hens (I said Little Man counted as a man, you know, with his penis and all, but FIL could not be swayed to hang out with 3 women and a 4 year old boy).

But I do love the fair, so it's quite exciting for me and the kids.

Afterwards we head up to my folks for my Dad's birthday weekend. Nothing much planned, I think we'll just hang out and take it easy, but I'm sure some trouble will find us, it always does.

School starts in a few weeks for the kids. I'm beside myself. I cannot believe both of my kids are starting school. Little Man will only be in half-day 4K, so that will ease it for me, but Baby Girl goes full-day 5K. We got a packet from Little Man's teacher today with the school supply list, a list of questions, etc. Oy.

We also near the next criminal trial date for the man that killed Patrick. I've been struggling, I find as we approach each court date, I am more prone to cry when I'm alone in the car or to just be generally pissed off. I just cannot fathom how any of this is fair/just/whatever the fuck you want to call it.

And don't tell me life isn't fair, because I will shove your words up your ass. Trust me on this.

It's amazing to me how the smallest thing can be a kick to the stomach. Tonight as I cleaned out the diaper bag (or now kid backpack as neither are in diapers) I came across the shells from the 21 gun salute at Pat's funeral. I was OK with that. Strangely, because during the actually 21 gun salute, I sobbed like a baby.

But I found a key at the bottom of the bag and thought, "Oh, its the blank key we bought for my old Maxima to have spare."

And then I looked at it. And it's a Kawasaki key. Patrick's motorcycle key.

For a moment, all the air was sucked out of my lungs and I couldn't speak. And it was all I could do to not break down in front of Gumby (because the man suffers enough from me randomly crying over the past 6 months).

I asked if it was Pat's and Gumby looked at it and said, "Huh. Yeah, I guess so."

I quietly pocketed the key. It will go on my keyring. I'm not going all Queen Latifa and wearing it, but it will be close to me.

Said it before and I'll say it again. This being a grown-up shit sucks.

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