Spring approaches...

At a snails pace. We keep getting glimpses of spring, a warm day, the robin's have returned. And we are expected to get 3-6 inches on Saturday.

ARGGGGG.

After we signed the kids up for the local Catholic elementary school, we got a notice that enrollment was low and they looked at the budget, these are the changes, are you still committed type of thing.

We struggled a bit with the decision, because we'd be spending a shit-ton-o-money, sending 2 off the bat. And part of the changes was a 10% tuition increase and they'd be cutting programs. Sounding frighteningly like public school....

But after much decision and a last minute pro/con list (because I'm a dork), we decided to stick with it. The kids loved it there and I was very impressed with the kindergarten teacher.

I get yesterday's mail and they are closing the school because only 62 students (37 families) had committed and they could not keep the school open with that level. Great, just great.

Where I struggle, is I want Little Man in a 5-day-a-week program next year. I want him to start getting used to it, so full-day school won't be such a shock to him the following year. Apparently, few schools in Waukesha County offer 4K, much less 5-day-a-week 4K.

The public schools don't even offer 4K. So we looked at the school in New Berlin, because the hope is to maybe buy a house in New Berlin next year (yeah, I know.....returning to NB...what are we thinking??? I'm going to lose any coolness I once possessed).

Well, they only offer 4K 3 days week. OK, I decided I could deal with that. But here's the kicker. School would start for Baby Girl at 7:45 AM for 5K. Little Man's 4K doesn't start until 8:30 AM. Are you kidding me??? 45 minutes later? That would not work and is a complete waste of gas.

Our only other viable options are sending Baby Girl to the local public school for this year and then sending Little Man to her preschool, but I'm not sure they have space (I have to ask, there are signs all over by the office indicated many classes are already full for the fall *sigh*).

Or there is another Catholic school in Wauwatosa, not *too* far from Gumby's work. I love their website, it had just a ton of information and it seems to be an extremely active school. I'd like to check them out, but Gumby is hesitant. So we're going to drive there this weekend and see how much farther is it from his work.

But all in all, this is really freakin' annoying. Stupid economy.

My MIL's surgery went well. She's very sore, but that is to be expected. There was no cancer in the nodes, so that's good news.

The plans for Disney continue.

Trying to move forward with Patrick's estate, but there are so many stumbling blocks right now. We still don't have a police report, which is pissing me off. I have a call and email into the probate attorney to get advice on how to proceed.

Time Warner can bite my frickin' arse. If they send one more bill for him, I swear, I will rip into some poor, unsuspecting soul that answers the phone. Idiots.

All in all, I'm pretty freakin' cranky right now. And the people that own the Chinese restaurant by the hospital must think I'm insane. The past 2 nights I've gone in and gotten nothing but egg drop soup for my MIL and FIL. But I'm sure these people are like, "Egg drop soup, that's it? Really?".

heh.

I feel like all I do is complain

Because, really, I do have an outstanding life, husband, children, family, etc. But man, can I catch a break?

Last Friday I was happily shopping at Sendiks with the kids, because I'm always in my happy place there. Then the phone rings. It's my MIL. Sweet, I can ask what groceries they need as my FIL had gotten pneumonia and the general plague (hopefully not from me, but what are ya gonna do?).

She explains my FIL now has a sinus infection on top of the pneumonia. And there was one itsy-bitsy problem.

She was having chest pain and needed to go to the hospital and my FIL couldn't take her because he'd infect and kill half the population. Great. Just frakin' great.

Off I go to drop the kids off at my folks and to take her to the hospital. I had to call into work (I'd picked up an extra shift since I missed so much after Pat's death).

Around 7:15 PM Gumby calls and says Little Man has an ear infection and is crying. Gives him ibuprofen. I call back 30 minutes later and am told, "He's still cranky, but he'll make it through the night."

Right. And I guess you'll be getting up with him in the middle of the night?

OK, that was bitchy, after all, last time Little Man woke up with the growing pains, Gumby handled it like a champ. But he was still awake. Once he's asleep, all bets are off.

I leave the MIL at the hospital (she was admitted to have a heart cath the next day) and off I go to get Little Man to take him to Urgent Care.

Get him there and he WILL. NOT. STOP. CRYING. My tough little guy that will fall down a flight of steps, get up and say, "I'm ok Mumma.", then run off, could not stop crying.

He finally falls asleep sitting up with me rubbing his head. They take one look in the ear he complained about and went, "Ew." Checked the other ear and it too was infected. Poor thing had a double ear infection. Lovely.

Saturday was good, spent most of the day at the hospital. Went out to dinner with Gumby that night and then the comedy club, which, I will say the comedians were OK, but it was nice to get out.

Sunday I worked, all was well.

Monday was the start of spring break. WOOOOO. I can sleep in! Til 7:30. *sigh*

Monday was my mistake. I ate something. I had a total Homer Simpson moment and ate something I should NOT have eaten. If you've never seen, "Selma's Choice" from the 4th season of the Simpson's, you've missed out on probably one of the funniest episodes ever that I decided to re-enact.

Sooooooooooo. I've been down and out since. Last night, I finally ate food, a sub from Cousins, which sat well and didn't hurt me. Score!

Today, I had my abdominal ultrasound. Turns out I have a rock band in my gallbladder and it must now die be removed. So yeah for not only having surgery, but hitting our deductible in the first quarter of the year! Wooo-hooo!

Now on to other topics to bitch about.

You know, nothing irritates me more than pseudo-rich people bitching about stuff they really have no right to bitch about. We send Emma to a Christian-preschool. It's not cheap, but it's not as bad as some places, so I don't complain. She's learned a lot there.

And I admit, we're probably one of the less affluential parents that use the school. Whatever. We chose to spend our money on education.

But I listen to these Mom's pick up their kids everyday and all they do is bitch about the school and how they don't like the lunch rules (because is it really so bad to have to pack something from the 4 food groups everyday?). As I was leaving yesterday, still feeling like shit, one of the Mom's looked at me and barked, "I am so fed up with this, I HAVE to find a new school for them."

Because, you know, uprooting them in April is the thing to do to a 3 and 4 year old. And then they stood in the hallway bitching this afternoon.

I'm sorry. Get over it. It's PRESCHOOL people. I've had very few complaints over the past 2 years that Em's been there. Like, you know, maybe 2? One major, one not so major. But good gravy.

But I see the same thing working at the Walgreens. I'm no dummy, I made a salary near equal to my husbands when I worked full-time, but we made this decision so I could go to school. Yet these people with "money" like to come in and try to intimidate me, thinking I must be a moron working a Walgreens. (a moron they trust with their life as I fill their prescriptions...bwuhahahahahaha).

No, I'm no moron. I found a part time job that paid a decent amount, that is flexible around my school schedule and my family life. Sounds like a win-win situation to me!

I just don't understand people.

Pneumonia can bite me

OK. I'm really over this. I'm presuming between the stress of Pat's death, the eulogy, etc and then 8-million sick people hugging me at the funeral, I got the plague.

My little sister celebrated her 18th birthday Tuesday. We went to dinner with my folks, sisters, boyfriends, etc. I wanted to die half-way through dinner.

Went back to my folks, sister opened gifts, cake/ice cream time. And I just wanted to be swallowed by the leather couch and spat out in a parallel universe.

We leave and have my father-in-law meet us at home (interestingly enough, Gumby was concerned enough that he called his Dad before we even left to have him leave for our house. See, he does take care of me!).

I was hoping to go to Urgent Care (less expensive), but WTF? All the UC's closed at 9 PM. I swear, the one downtown was open until 10 PM all summer. So after we couldn't find an UC, I decided the ER would have to suffice. Didn't want to drive downtown to go to my usual hospital, so went to the local one.

I must say, I need to pull my head out of my ass and just pick a doctor out here in the 'burbs. Driving downtown when you're already sick sucks. It's time.

Anyway. After several hours in the ER, I have pneumonia and they suspect I have a full-blown case of influenza. They do a test for it (which involves them shoving a q-tip up your nose until it touches your brain. It was so nasty and disturbing. I'd almost rather be in labor).

The rapid test came back negative for it, but it's a 50/50 shot on accuracy (really? how much did we just pay for a fucking 50/50 accuracy????). So they opt to send it for the long-term test and gave me a prescription for Tamiflu and an antibiotic for the pneumonia.

Off to Walgreens at 2 AM. Seventy-freakin-dollars for the Tamiflu. Holy hell. $10 for the antibiotic. Good gravy people.

But I feel better. I spent 2 days on my couch, drinking gatorade and taking drugs and they worked!

I'm still not 100%, but I was able to go to the hockey game last night with the family (which was quite violent, great game!).

Today, I've grocery shopped and got a new scratching post for Oscar.

But really, I'm sick of being sick now.

Today is a bad day

I obviously have not posted since Patty's death. So much has happened since then. Sadness. Happiness. Illness.

We still don't have many details from the accident. There are rumors abound stating the person that hit Patrick was a "drunk Marine". We have absolutely no confirmation of that and have no desire to perpetuate that rumor. If this person was stone-sober, imagine the hell he is living with, knowing his mistake took another life.

But that is exactly what I'm am struggling with as I sit on the couch this evening.

Some say Pat would want us to forgive the person that hit him. But at this moment in time, I feel nothing but complete sadness and bitterness. I don't want to forgive, in fact, I want to inflict great pain on this person. And it doesn't have to be physical pain, oh no, mental pain would be equally satisfying.

I want to show this person pictures of our family. Of our parents, who got a box from the coroner's office yesterday with Pat's belongings, that just sent them into another tailspin of grief.

Of his brother's that are now missing 1/3 of their brotherhood.

Of my children, that are now missing their uncle. For my son, that is now missing his Godfather.

Of me, missing my baby brother that I have protected for so many years.

Tonight I am grieving Patrick all over again, I'm not sure why.

The funeral went as well as could be expected. So many friends came to remember him, to honor him. It was amazing.

I held myself together during my eulogy until the very end when I read my father-in-laws letter to Patrick (damn it! mental note! always pre-read your speech!).

And I lost it during the military honors. I feel the need to clarify. I worry someone may have hear me say I hate military honors.

It is not because I don't feel they should be honored, blah, blah, blah. Quite the contrary. Military honors make the passing that more difficult for me, to know they selflessly served our country. I just sob every time.

Do you know how much I hate to cry in public? Especially sob?!? Because if I'm in public, then I have to do it quietly. And that shit hurts. I much prefer to breakdown in the comfort of my own home, thankyouverymuch.

I loved seeing so many of Pat's friends, I had so many conversations, my head was spinning.

But back to the issue at hand tonight. Tonight, I cannot forgive the driver.

God have mercy on him if he was drunk when it happened, because I certainly will not. Tonight, I hate him, like no one else before, and hopefully no one ever after.

RIP Patrick Joseph Reed

Much too early this morning, Gumby woke me from a goofy sleep. I was pointing the completely wrong way on the bed, waiting for him to come to bed, for a completely different reason.

He pushed me to wake me and growled to come downstairs. I stumbled down the stairs, unable to understand what was going on.

there he sat in the recliner, with a look of such sadness, distraught. His beautiful eyes, completely devastated.

"I got a call from Mom."

I immediately thought something was wrong with his Dad, that the unthinkable had happened. Obviously it was not the unthinkable as I had just thought it, but I froze on the landing.

"Patrick died tonight."

"What?"

"Patrick died tonight, he was in an accident with his motorcycle XXXXXXXXX." (more words I didn't hear).

"WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?"

He repeated it again.

This truly was the unthinkable.

My Patrick. My dear, sweet Patrick. Annoying, infuriating Patrick. He drove me insane and made my heart swell with pride all in the same breath. The man, yes man, that was more responsible than most of the people my age that I know.

I knew he was in full motorcycle gear. I knew he was hyper-aware of his surroundings at all times. I knew there had to be nothing he could do.

I pulled John to the couch and cocooning myself around him and I sobbed. God bless him, in his pain, he let me have my moment.

To which I try to tend to him, but he's not having it. Not ready for that pain. He's a dude, I get it.
So I do what comes natural, I turn into a Tasmanian devil, throwing toys into the toy room, dishes in the dishwasher, you get the general picture.

I ask if he wants to go to his folks, which of course he does. I can't let him drive, so I call my folks at whatever un-Godly hour it was. Left a rambling message on the machine for my Dad to call back ASAP. He calls back and gets Gumby, who bluntly says, "My brother Patrick died, we need to go to my folks, can you come watch the kids?"

Bless my Dad, he hauls himself out rather quickly. Off we go. Fucking freezing last night and with the shock of it all, we were already shaking, so the cold did not help our cause.

We get to my in-laws in short order (OK, there was a minor incident where I made the truck go sideways in the subdivision on the slick snow...opps....I was a bit preoccupied. Then Gumby yelled at me for driving like a "granny". Nice.)

I'm glad we went, but it was awful. My in-laws were understandably in shock. We stayed for a few hours and hobbled home to relieve my Dad.

Patrick was an interesting person. He was a genius. And honest-to-God genius, with some ridiculous IQ. And he was a pain-in-the-ass. He loved to argue debate and had to be right. And he was a spaz as a teen.

But he was freakin' hilarious. Just when you would resign yourself that he had turned into a complete computer geek, he'd come out with something that I'd be laughing about for days.

And he had the world's biggest heart. His ability to love never ceased to amaze me. It was so pure and good. He loved who he loved and he did it with the same intensity he did everything else in life, which is more that most people can say about their lives.

He broke 3 promises to me. The most trivial being, he was going to go skydiving with me. We like to give my MIL some heart palpitations, keeps her young, heh. Unfortunately we never had that chance.

But he promised me he wouldn't die and wouldn't make me cry.

Because when he left for Iraq after he'd come home for a bit, I was beside myself when he left again. I just didn't want him back there. I wanted him home, where he'd be safe.

And he finally had enough of Iraq and was coming home. For at least a year and we could breathe easy. Because, he had survived all the bombing in Iraq, certainly he could handle a small desert town in California.

I want nothing more for my Patrick to be home with us. Giving my children looks that they are some alien force, but he was so patient with Baby Girl as she would talk his ear off and he smartly would interject a "uh-huh" or "wow" at the appropriate moment. They freaked him out at babies, but as they are older now, he interacted on a more comfortable level, knowing he could actually reason to some degree with them.

And then there's his Godson, Little Man. Little Man adored him and would just hang out, watching him playing video games. I have always been so completely pleased with our choice of Godparents. Each suits each child so well. But now Little Man has lost his Godfather. His uncle.

And I can't stop crying.

And I don't know how to tell my children and how to not scar them.

this fucking sucks monkey butt.

Grammy Edition of my blog

I'm late.

But I've decided to give the lowdown on my take of the Grammy's.

Jennifer Hudson - Looks great (though I suspect some Spanx was being used..nothing wrong with that, but it's bad if you can see the line). Sang wonderfully.

Jonas Brothers - WTH? Are they the new NKOTB? And I'm trying to figure out if they are really playing guitar.

Craig Ferguson cracked me up, very inappropriate jokes. Katy Perry, I'm not so sure about. I like her songs, but I really find her to be not such a great performer live.

Kanye - Dude, I love you, but what's up with that hair? The 80's called...well, you know the rest.

I'm glad Adele won the Grammy for best new artist, but isn't there some "curse" that goes along with it? That worries me.

Morgan Freeman - Introducing Kenny? Wow. And they're "friends". Goes to show you that Morgan really is a freakin' hippie (nothing wrong with that). I'm loving Kenny as per normal. Continues to feed my bizarre love of all things musical.

Diddy couldn't dress up more? Seriously, you're a good looking man, but a frakin' suit on. Robert Plant and Allison Krause won, good for them. I really need to pick up that CD.

Dean Martin is dead, how the hell is he getting a lifetime achievement award???

GOOD GAWD. Holy preggers. Polka dots were NOT the best way to go. I like M.I.A., but dayum.

OHHHH...TI is looking mightly yummy (when doesn't he?). I do not understand the fascination with L'il Wayne. Jay-Z, always dapper.

Kate Beckinsdale, ohhhh, very yummy. (oh, and M.I.A. is due today, poor thing. I was wondering if she was going to drop that kid right there, ha.).

DAVE GROHL....excuse me while I wipe up the drool from the keyboard.

So my question is this....why wouldn't Sir Paul McCartney have Sir Ringo Starr up there with him? He's obviously the only other living Beatle. Not that I mind Dave drumming, but I just found it odd (of course I wasn't paying enough attention, so was that a tribute to the Beatles or just to Paul? If just Paul, then I get it).

OK, seriously, I like Nicole Kidman, but tone that lipstick down!

Kid Rock is Pop? Oh, I love Jason Mraz. When I met him, he was just so awesome. I hope he wins.

Damn, John Mayer won. I like the damn song, so I guess that's good. thankfully he's sticking with the shorter hair. But what's with that suit?

Jay Mohr, seriously, how did he land Nikki Cox? Knob.

Oh SugarLand! Love 'em. I'd love to see them live, but I'm pretty sure Gumby would spontaneously combust at a "country" concert. I blame my Grandparents for my love of country.

"Grandma, can we listen to xxxx?"

"No. Put the country station on or some Johnny Mathis."

Country it is...Thankfully Garth Brooks was HUGE when I was a teenager, so I've got crazy love for him.

Oh, Adele is on now. I love her voice, but I'm not sure about that dress (or the shoes, actually). Damn that girl can sing (of course so can Jennifer from Sugarland).

HA HA. Trace Adkins wife did NOT look pleased when the camera went to her. (you know for a gal that listens to a lot of "alternative" music, I know much too much about country, oh well).

Radiohead!!!!! With the marching band, how fucking cool is that! Note, I managed to keep swearing to a minimum until Radiohead came on! Fucking genius'.

Wow. I just had my ass blown out. Amazing. And I mildly teared up. I'm at a bit of a loss for words.

Fuck. Now I lost the remote. Fucking thing should have a locator on it.

Sam L. Baby! He is a badass Mo-Fo. Oh, JT and TI. Mmmmm...there's some damn good eye-candy. Isn't T.I. going to jail? Oh, felony possession of firearms. Seriously, why did he need to buy 3 machine guns and 2 silencers?

How did this yutz become president of the Recording Academy? What's his claim to fame?

OK, I'm cool with Ne Yo playing with the "Four Tops" but Jamie Foxx? He annoys me. 'Cause it's all about getting that ass with him. dude, give it a rest. We know you're on the prowl.

Awww, Jordin Sparks looks so cute!

So tired. I have school tomorrow. I may have to postphone the rest of my thoughts until tomorrow......

Christina is schilling for Target?!?

Neil Diamond, Sweet Caroline. 'nuff said.

OK, I stepped away to make the kid's lunches for tomorrow and Gumby laughed quite hard. Apparently during the dead people montage, the dude that wrote the original Batman song was on for all of 3 seconds.

OK, freakin' John Mayer can play, I give him that. Keith Urban, love 'em (back to that whole country thing *sigh*). BB King, could never tire of him.

Apparently John Mayer irritates Gumby as well.

I'm gonna cry, I wanna be done...

Robin Thicke. You know, I don't see how Alan Thicke is his father. Robin is just one freakin' cool cat.

Ok, so I was going to make fun of T Pain, but I have to make fun of myself instead. Here I was all giggling that the Grammy's did a 5-way split screen for the best rap album and I told Gumby that Lil Wayne would win, but I was hoping that either T.I. or Lupe Fiasco would win and when they read Lil Wayne, I was all, "TOLD YOU!". Like he was arguing with me.

I'm an idiot.

OK, I may miss a bit, had to rewind to Radiohead for Gumby. I feel his ass should also be blown out :)

Allison Krause and Robert Plant were awesome.

See, Diddy, take note from Green Day, they wore suits.

I'm rooting for Coldplay for album of the year, but Radiohead is my next choice....

But Robert Plant and Allison Krause get it. They are awesome together, but let's face facts, is that really what the "kids" are listening to. This would be why the Grammy's are criticized for not being "relevant". Whatever.

Hmpf. That was not how I wanted to end.

Shut up Robert, I love the music, stop rambling, you're getting played off.

Nice, they abandoned Stevie in the middle of the stage by himself. Ha.

Well, tune in next for the Oscar's!

'Bout time for updates

School has been back in session for 2 weeks now and holy crap is the intermediate algebra hard. Ding dang, I need to study more. Economics of the Black Community is cool, nothing real ground-breaking yet, but I suspect it will be a lot of fun this semester.

But a class at 8 AM on the UWM campus, when I live in Waukesha is a bit much. Try as I might I'm typically a bit late to class, which sucks, but I'm trying to be better.

Baby Girl is in gymnastics and loving it. I may put Little Man in basketball, but it's 2 nights a week and before Gumby gets home and I'd need someone to watch Baby Girl.

We're going out tonight and tomorrow night! Yowsers, two nights without kids. How about that.

My MIL is still deciding on a single mastectomy versus a double. Today she gets the results from the Geneticist to see if she has the cancer gene. If she does, it will be a double for sure. If not, she still has to decide. She's been out of the hospital for a week now from the other issues. I made them chicken noodle soup, chili and wild rice soup yesterday for freezing, so they will have good stuff on hand.

Next up is some shepherd's pie and a turkey/squash casserole.

The weather is warm today, giving a small taste of spring. I can't wait to not have to bundle the kids up in boots/hats/mittens/snowpants, etc. To just be able to leave when the time comes. Winter is exhausting.

I'm waiting for the new Park and Rec book to come out to sign them up for swim classes. I plan to have them in the water all summer long.

Oscar is getting along better with out Fred, but he still feels he has to be EVERYWHERE we are. And the little bastard really is Gumby's cat. Fucker.