November

There are moments when life is pretty shitty. Take this past week. Money is tight (isn't it always???). But when you just get back from Disney World, it tends to be really tight. Which is cool, I mean we had the trip of a lifetime.

But the exhaust decided to literally fall off the car. To the tune of $425 we really didn't have to spare, but there wasn't much choice as we kinda need the car.

Next I decided it was time to be sick. And by sick, I mean holy-crap-my-brain-is-about-to-explode-congestion sick. My first sinus infection in quite some time. And they decided I probably have the flu, quite possibly the swine flu, so I got treated for that too. To the tune of another $90 for 3 prescriptions (because America's health care situation is just fine!!!!!! We don't have to rob Peter to pay Paul!)

But now I sit here on the couch, finally listening to Christmas music (because although Gumby has a post-Thanksgiving rule, if the radio stations switch before that, I am exempt as long as I'm listening to the radio. Heh. I love my clauses.)

And the children are playing in the sandbox and the dog is sitting 10 feet away on high-alert for a rogue squirrel trying to attack them (it could happen!).

And although I feel pretty horrific, it's a moment of sheer perfection. Satisfaction in life and reflection of blessings.

2009 has left a lot to be desired for our family. A lot of loss and mourning.

But we are still standing at the end (albeit, short 1 Reed and a set of breasts).

I still struggle over the loss of Patrick as we come to the 9th month since his death. But in this moment, I can mourn him and be content with where we are all at once.