RIP Patrick Joseph Reed

Much too early this morning, Gumby woke me from a goofy sleep. I was pointing the completely wrong way on the bed, waiting for him to come to bed, for a completely different reason.

He pushed me to wake me and growled to come downstairs. I stumbled down the stairs, unable to understand what was going on.

there he sat in the recliner, with a look of such sadness, distraught. His beautiful eyes, completely devastated.

"I got a call from Mom."

I immediately thought something was wrong with his Dad, that the unthinkable had happened. Obviously it was not the unthinkable as I had just thought it, but I froze on the landing.

"Patrick died tonight."

"What?"

"Patrick died tonight, he was in an accident with his motorcycle XXXXXXXXX." (more words I didn't hear).

"WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?"

He repeated it again.

This truly was the unthinkable.

My Patrick. My dear, sweet Patrick. Annoying, infuriating Patrick. He drove me insane and made my heart swell with pride all in the same breath. The man, yes man, that was more responsible than most of the people my age that I know.

I knew he was in full motorcycle gear. I knew he was hyper-aware of his surroundings at all times. I knew there had to be nothing he could do.

I pulled John to the couch and cocooning myself around him and I sobbed. God bless him, in his pain, he let me have my moment.

To which I try to tend to him, but he's not having it. Not ready for that pain. He's a dude, I get it.
So I do what comes natural, I turn into a Tasmanian devil, throwing toys into the toy room, dishes in the dishwasher, you get the general picture.

I ask if he wants to go to his folks, which of course he does. I can't let him drive, so I call my folks at whatever un-Godly hour it was. Left a rambling message on the machine for my Dad to call back ASAP. He calls back and gets Gumby, who bluntly says, "My brother Patrick died, we need to go to my folks, can you come watch the kids?"

Bless my Dad, he hauls himself out rather quickly. Off we go. Fucking freezing last night and with the shock of it all, we were already shaking, so the cold did not help our cause.

We get to my in-laws in short order (OK, there was a minor incident where I made the truck go sideways in the subdivision on the slick snow...opps....I was a bit preoccupied. Then Gumby yelled at me for driving like a "granny". Nice.)

I'm glad we went, but it was awful. My in-laws were understandably in shock. We stayed for a few hours and hobbled home to relieve my Dad.

Patrick was an interesting person. He was a genius. And honest-to-God genius, with some ridiculous IQ. And he was a pain-in-the-ass. He loved to argue debate and had to be right. And he was a spaz as a teen.

But he was freakin' hilarious. Just when you would resign yourself that he had turned into a complete computer geek, he'd come out with something that I'd be laughing about for days.

And he had the world's biggest heart. His ability to love never ceased to amaze me. It was so pure and good. He loved who he loved and he did it with the same intensity he did everything else in life, which is more that most people can say about their lives.

He broke 3 promises to me. The most trivial being, he was going to go skydiving with me. We like to give my MIL some heart palpitations, keeps her young, heh. Unfortunately we never had that chance.

But he promised me he wouldn't die and wouldn't make me cry.

Because when he left for Iraq after he'd come home for a bit, I was beside myself when he left again. I just didn't want him back there. I wanted him home, where he'd be safe.

And he finally had enough of Iraq and was coming home. For at least a year and we could breathe easy. Because, he had survived all the bombing in Iraq, certainly he could handle a small desert town in California.

I want nothing more for my Patrick to be home with us. Giving my children looks that they are some alien force, but he was so patient with Baby Girl as she would talk his ear off and he smartly would interject a "uh-huh" or "wow" at the appropriate moment. They freaked him out at babies, but as they are older now, he interacted on a more comfortable level, knowing he could actually reason to some degree with them.

And then there's his Godson, Little Man. Little Man adored him and would just hang out, watching him playing video games. I have always been so completely pleased with our choice of Godparents. Each suits each child so well. But now Little Man has lost his Godfather. His uncle.

And I can't stop crying.

And I don't know how to tell my children and how to not scar them.

this fucking sucks monkey butt.

Grammy Edition of my blog

I'm late.

But I've decided to give the lowdown on my take of the Grammy's.

Jennifer Hudson - Looks great (though I suspect some Spanx was being used..nothing wrong with that, but it's bad if you can see the line). Sang wonderfully.

Jonas Brothers - WTH? Are they the new NKOTB? And I'm trying to figure out if they are really playing guitar.

Craig Ferguson cracked me up, very inappropriate jokes. Katy Perry, I'm not so sure about. I like her songs, but I really find her to be not such a great performer live.

Kanye - Dude, I love you, but what's up with that hair? The 80's called...well, you know the rest.

I'm glad Adele won the Grammy for best new artist, but isn't there some "curse" that goes along with it? That worries me.

Morgan Freeman - Introducing Kenny? Wow. And they're "friends". Goes to show you that Morgan really is a freakin' hippie (nothing wrong with that). I'm loving Kenny as per normal. Continues to feed my bizarre love of all things musical.

Diddy couldn't dress up more? Seriously, you're a good looking man, but a frakin' suit on. Robert Plant and Allison Krause won, good for them. I really need to pick up that CD.

Dean Martin is dead, how the hell is he getting a lifetime achievement award???

GOOD GAWD. Holy preggers. Polka dots were NOT the best way to go. I like M.I.A., but dayum.

OHHHH...TI is looking mightly yummy (when doesn't he?). I do not understand the fascination with L'il Wayne. Jay-Z, always dapper.

Kate Beckinsdale, ohhhh, very yummy. (oh, and M.I.A. is due today, poor thing. I was wondering if she was going to drop that kid right there, ha.).

DAVE GROHL....excuse me while I wipe up the drool from the keyboard.

So my question is this....why wouldn't Sir Paul McCartney have Sir Ringo Starr up there with him? He's obviously the only other living Beatle. Not that I mind Dave drumming, but I just found it odd (of course I wasn't paying enough attention, so was that a tribute to the Beatles or just to Paul? If just Paul, then I get it).

OK, seriously, I like Nicole Kidman, but tone that lipstick down!

Kid Rock is Pop? Oh, I love Jason Mraz. When I met him, he was just so awesome. I hope he wins.

Damn, John Mayer won. I like the damn song, so I guess that's good. thankfully he's sticking with the shorter hair. But what's with that suit?

Jay Mohr, seriously, how did he land Nikki Cox? Knob.

Oh SugarLand! Love 'em. I'd love to see them live, but I'm pretty sure Gumby would spontaneously combust at a "country" concert. I blame my Grandparents for my love of country.

"Grandma, can we listen to xxxx?"

"No. Put the country station on or some Johnny Mathis."

Country it is...Thankfully Garth Brooks was HUGE when I was a teenager, so I've got crazy love for him.

Oh, Adele is on now. I love her voice, but I'm not sure about that dress (or the shoes, actually). Damn that girl can sing (of course so can Jennifer from Sugarland).

HA HA. Trace Adkins wife did NOT look pleased when the camera went to her. (you know for a gal that listens to a lot of "alternative" music, I know much too much about country, oh well).

Radiohead!!!!! With the marching band, how fucking cool is that! Note, I managed to keep swearing to a minimum until Radiohead came on! Fucking genius'.

Wow. I just had my ass blown out. Amazing. And I mildly teared up. I'm at a bit of a loss for words.

Fuck. Now I lost the remote. Fucking thing should have a locator on it.

Sam L. Baby! He is a badass Mo-Fo. Oh, JT and TI. Mmmmm...there's some damn good eye-candy. Isn't T.I. going to jail? Oh, felony possession of firearms. Seriously, why did he need to buy 3 machine guns and 2 silencers?

How did this yutz become president of the Recording Academy? What's his claim to fame?

OK, I'm cool with Ne Yo playing with the "Four Tops" but Jamie Foxx? He annoys me. 'Cause it's all about getting that ass with him. dude, give it a rest. We know you're on the prowl.

Awww, Jordin Sparks looks so cute!

So tired. I have school tomorrow. I may have to postphone the rest of my thoughts until tomorrow......

Christina is schilling for Target?!?

Neil Diamond, Sweet Caroline. 'nuff said.

OK, I stepped away to make the kid's lunches for tomorrow and Gumby laughed quite hard. Apparently during the dead people montage, the dude that wrote the original Batman song was on for all of 3 seconds.

OK, freakin' John Mayer can play, I give him that. Keith Urban, love 'em (back to that whole country thing *sigh*). BB King, could never tire of him.

Apparently John Mayer irritates Gumby as well.

I'm gonna cry, I wanna be done...

Robin Thicke. You know, I don't see how Alan Thicke is his father. Robin is just one freakin' cool cat.

Ok, so I was going to make fun of T Pain, but I have to make fun of myself instead. Here I was all giggling that the Grammy's did a 5-way split screen for the best rap album and I told Gumby that Lil Wayne would win, but I was hoping that either T.I. or Lupe Fiasco would win and when they read Lil Wayne, I was all, "TOLD YOU!". Like he was arguing with me.

I'm an idiot.

OK, I may miss a bit, had to rewind to Radiohead for Gumby. I feel his ass should also be blown out :)

Allison Krause and Robert Plant were awesome.

See, Diddy, take note from Green Day, they wore suits.

I'm rooting for Coldplay for album of the year, but Radiohead is my next choice....

But Robert Plant and Allison Krause get it. They are awesome together, but let's face facts, is that really what the "kids" are listening to. This would be why the Grammy's are criticized for not being "relevant". Whatever.

Hmpf. That was not how I wanted to end.

Shut up Robert, I love the music, stop rambling, you're getting played off.

Nice, they abandoned Stevie in the middle of the stage by himself. Ha.

Well, tune in next for the Oscar's!

'Bout time for updates

School has been back in session for 2 weeks now and holy crap is the intermediate algebra hard. Ding dang, I need to study more. Economics of the Black Community is cool, nothing real ground-breaking yet, but I suspect it will be a lot of fun this semester.

But a class at 8 AM on the UWM campus, when I live in Waukesha is a bit much. Try as I might I'm typically a bit late to class, which sucks, but I'm trying to be better.

Baby Girl is in gymnastics and loving it. I may put Little Man in basketball, but it's 2 nights a week and before Gumby gets home and I'd need someone to watch Baby Girl.

We're going out tonight and tomorrow night! Yowsers, two nights without kids. How about that.

My MIL is still deciding on a single mastectomy versus a double. Today she gets the results from the Geneticist to see if she has the cancer gene. If she does, it will be a double for sure. If not, she still has to decide. She's been out of the hospital for a week now from the other issues. I made them chicken noodle soup, chili and wild rice soup yesterday for freezing, so they will have good stuff on hand.

Next up is some shepherd's pie and a turkey/squash casserole.

The weather is warm today, giving a small taste of spring. I can't wait to not have to bundle the kids up in boots/hats/mittens/snowpants, etc. To just be able to leave when the time comes. Winter is exhausting.

I'm waiting for the new Park and Rec book to come out to sign them up for swim classes. I plan to have them in the water all summer long.

Oscar is getting along better with out Fred, but he still feels he has to be EVERYWHERE we are. And the little bastard really is Gumby's cat. Fucker.

And this is why I need to stop watching VH1...

Shit-tacular week

Let's see, where to start.

We had to put our cat down. She had a tumor in her chin we didn't know about and by the time it presented itself, it was too late. We had the option to bring her home with pain medication until she couldn't eat anymore or to put her down.

No offense, the idea of waiting for her to stop eating just seemed rather morbid. I'd rather she be happy in kitty heaven than here with me in pain.

But here's the thing. I've had her for almost 13 years. I keep thinking I see her in the house. She was a constant presence and I really do miss her.

Telling Little Man was the hardest (well, no, holding her as she died was the hardest). He cried very hard and told me how he wanted her back and missed her and it just broke my fucking heart all over again.

I'm from the school of being upfront with them, obviously there are somethings we shield them from, but a pet dying is part of life and part of owning a pet. so there you go.

My MIL has breast cancer again. It's the same kind, in the same breast, so she will have a mastectomy this time. Fun, fucking times, let me tell you.

I struggled with that one as I've know it was a possibility since Monday (FIL had a moment of verbal diarrhea and told me) and my MIL asked me not to tell Gumby. I tell him most everything, but I respected her wishes.

Which for anyone that knows me, knows that's near-fucking-impossible. She got the biopsy results yesterday and I obviously didn't want to tell him before his Winter Ball (a work function) and afterwards was much too late to deal with such heaviness.

So today was a bit brutal for the family. Gumby ended up vomiting (I'm thinking the big 'ol t-bone steak did not help that cause). I'm still working on an upset stomach.

I watched the new episode of The Office tonight and almost died. Also watched last week's SNL with Neil Patrick Harris (who, was on Sesame Street this past week as the Shoe Fairy and I almost peed my pants).

Opps.

So my MIL and I have a mild addiction to Rock Band. I've been trying to play at night, after the kids go to bed, because really, watching Mommy play video games is not the image I'd like to project on their very impressionable brains.

But sometimes after I pick up Baby Girl from preschool we head over to the in-laws for the afternoon.

And my MIL got Rock Band 2 for Christmas. The set. Which is it's own post, really, but I digress.

So the other night the beasties were in the tub, Gumby and I were folding laundry in our room (attached to the bathroom! Jeez). Suddenly you heard:

So what 'cha, what 'cha, what 'cha want? I said what 'cha, what 'cha, what 'cha want?

Err. Is the 4 year old singing Beastie Boys?

Hmmm.

Yeah.

Well then.

After much laughter, I think, well maybe that's a bit too much Rock Band? Nahhh.

Yesterday, we head over to the in-laws. G-ma had Baby Girl's new mittens and was going to make a new "string" for them and I needed to get them before this weather set in.

We chatted for a while with Mary Mac, doing our thing. I laid the kids down in their rooms for a nap and Mary decided it was time to head back to the city. To which my MIL said, "Are we going to Rock Band now???"

Sure, we'll Rock Band.

Fast-forward 2 hours.

*blush*

Little Man is up from his nap and I send him in to mess with his sister (because I'm considerate when my kids wake up and make one of them the bad guy, heh).

Grandma asks Baby Girl what song she had been singing in the tub.

"That's what you Get!." - Paramore (yes, from RB)

No, that's not it, hon.

"Was it, 'Hey, ho! Let's go'? - The Clash (yep, RB)

Er, no, not that one babe.

"The fishing song?" - Bon Jovi (Dead or Alive from Deadliest Catch and yes, from RB)

Um, no.

"Maps?" - The Yeah Yeah Yeah's (damn, also from RB)

OK, babe, you were singing, "So what 'cha, what 'cha, what 'cha want?"

To which she promptly spent the remainder of the afternoon singing it.

But it's gotta be better than her wanting to watch either the Fall Out Boy, "I Don't Care" video or The All-American Rejects, "Give you Hell."

*sigh*

I really need to stop watching VH1 around her. And considering cutting back on RB at Grandma & Grandpa's. Wait, Grandma isn't well and this makes her FEEL better. I'm doing a great service by playing this game with her.

Heh. And feeding my ever-growing addiction.

But, on to better parenting topics.

Baby Girl starts gymnastics on Thursday. I'm very excited for her. It's her first "big girl" class that I won't be in with her. I tried to get Little Man into the toddler class (I'd participate with him), but we are on the waiting list, unfortunately.

I'm excited for the prospect of summer. I'm thinking I will keep Baby Girl home with me and they can take non-stop swim classes all summer. I want them swimming like da fishes by the end of summer!

I start my classes in 2 weeks, which is exciting. I'll be happy to be back in school.

I'm a blog slacker.

Er. Yeah. So I haven't posted in a few weeks. I've thought about it, I really have, but just haven't gotten around to it.

But that seems to be a theme around here lately.

So to recap.

Christmas Eve was here with both families. I was a bit panicked in the morning, trying to get ready. Made an appointment for Little Man to get a hair cut. Ran around getting ready, realized I would not make the 11 AM appointment, so I called to reschedule. Got Noon. Left at 11:45 AM to get there (it's snowing like you wouldn't believe) and realize Gumby had the keys to the car (when we bought it, it only came with 1 key and of course, it's a special key that's almost $300 for..we'll work with 1 for now thank you!).

I'm pissed. I'm going to be late to another hair cut appointment. It's snowing, my children are running around like the beasts they are and I suddenly realize, who the fuck cares?

All the kids wanted to do was to build a snow man. So a snow man we built.

Gumby came home, took Little Man to his hair cut appointment, I ran to the store with Baby Girl and came home and relaxed. Got the food ready and didn't stress. Overall, Christmas Eve was very chill after building the snow man. Heh.

Christmas Eve and Day was very nice. Very relaxed. I did get Rock Band 2 (as did my MIL, God help us both). So now I've been staying up much too late after the kids go to bed playing. It's addictive, fun and really needs to be controlled. Ha.

New Year's Eve was going to be here, but my FIL fell and sprained his ankle, so we went to their house. Our usual seafood fest. My BIL was able to get us some lobster and he prepped it for me, so I just had to finish cooking it (so freakin' yummy). I did the filet, shrimp and mussels.

Little Man passed out in Grandma and Grandpa's bed around 10 PM (I was meanwhile, passed out in the recliner, opps). Baby Girl was still kicking at 11:15 PM, but we left then. Got home and the kids in bed just in time to have 5 minutes to spare before the new year.

Popped open our bottle of sparkling grape juice (we live hard peeps) and brought in the new year.

This past weekend we had a night without kids. The in-laws had the kids sleep over Saturday night. We went to dinner with my folks for our collective anniversaries and then went to a movie.

Oh, don't waste your time or money on "The Day the Earth Stood Still". What a piece of crap. We wanted to see the Benjamin Button movie, but my Mom was anti-Brad that night, so we went to the other movie.

Ugg.

Word to the wise, don't delay in picking your college classes. I'm used to going to smaller schools that you can always get into a class. Apparently UWM is pretty serious about those class limits, plus, there are so many more students looking to get in. Now I'm stalking the registration website every few hours trying to get into the classes I needed and wanted (I had the whole damn scheduled perfect in my head. Fuck).

Meanwhile, I've signed up for classes I do need, but the other classes are classes I need to take (prereq's). Apparently the college algebra course I took is not enough and now I need intermediate algebra, followed by calculus and stats. Bugger.

Why did I pick this major? Oh yeah, I'm a nerd/dork.

Alas, on the a happier note, Gumby has decided to go back for his bachelors (hell yes!), so starting this summer we'll be able to take a bunch of classes together again. I know it sounds strange, but it's a good time for us to have the commute in the car together, we take the classes together (keeps us on top of what's due and usually when one doesn't get something, the other does and can explain it). Plus I love being his partner on projects...means I don't have to leave home or my pj's (ha!).

So I'm super-duper excited about that.

I turn the big 3-3 in 2 days. Actually it's not all that big. Birthdays don't typically bother me (weird ones do, I had issue with 23...hmmmm...wonder if that means I'll have issue with 33???).

Wish me luck.

On a final note, I'd love to hear suggestions on how to get a 3 year old boy to stop picking his nose. Seems to be a boy specific thing, as we were able to break Baby Girl of it rather quickly.

Blech.

ETA: UPDATE!!! I got into the algebra class I wanted! Guess who gets to take algebra at 8 AM on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays?!? And who's actually excited about it? I'm such a dork.